Keeping Your Infertility A Secret!
Why It's a No-No!
Do you and your partner keep your infertility a secret?
Are your efforts to fall pregnant month after month kept to yourselves?
Do you tend to play down your desire for children to others?
Have you ever gone as far as telling others, you're not even thinking about kids yet? (because they always ask, don't they!
Do you make excuses to people such as you're 'just happy focusing on being a couple right now', or that you're 'just concentrating on your career', or even that you're just 'content with having pets... kids would be too much work!'
I know all the excuses, because as someone who is infertile, I have been there! Being infertile is not easy, but you are making things harder on yourself having to keep it all inside.
Besides you don't want people judging you, or mocking you, or worse pitying you, right?
So, the topic of pregnancy and babies becomes something you won't even contemplate talking about with others, and you soldier on bottling things up inside. Who cares about your reasons for infertility, you might think sometimes, right?
If you are okay talking about people opening about your problems conceiving, than congratulations, because you are one of the few that can do so, and you are probably finding your infertility journey a little bit lighter.
Still Keeping Your Infertility A Secret?
Find Someone You Can Trust
True friends or people who care about you won't pity you, they will support you, they will understand you and lift you up during those times when you feel down.
Talk to them about the definition of infertility and what it means to you. Explain to them that you don't necessarily want their advice, and set your ground rules for discussion from the very beginning.
Who knows, you may find that your chosen supportive friend or family member may be your 'saving grace' when the going gets tough.
Things get hard on infertile couples especially when they keep their infertility a secret. Keeping things to yourself can be wrought with danger.
I'm not asking you to tell the world about being infertile, but it is good to have atleast on or two people outside of your relationship to talk to, say a close friend? Or a trustworthy family member? Even a workmate who isn't too involved with your personal life may be just the person you can talk openly to about being infertile! The key factor is to find someone you trust. Don't keep your infertility a secret.
What if you don't have anyone you feel comfortable telling?
If you don't have someone to talk to outside of your relationship with your partner about your reasons for fertility, you may end up taking things out on each other, and you don't want to do that – it's hard enough for you both already without putting extra strain on things.
Don't turn on each other when times get hard. Instead use your infertility to bond, to pull together in the same direction. Feel it draw you both closer to one anoher. This is something that only you and him (or her!) are going through, and that alone gives you both something that only the pair of you you can understand.
You must use these times to strengthen the love you share together, and also to enjoy your time as 'just a couple' too.
I won't lie, if you are infertile and trying to conceive month after month, there will be some times when things are bound to get a little rocky, which is another reason you don't want to keep your infertility a secret. It's just another thing weighing you down, another reason to be sad, and you don't need extra things dampening your spirits.
It really is best if you can share your concerns and stories about being infertile with a third-party who you can trust.
If you don't actually know anyone, there are plenty of online forums, websites, and there may even be a support group in your area you can attend to find people who are in similar situations.
If you can't find a group, look for someone else who is also on an online forum that may live close to you who you can meet up with to discuss your situation.
True friends or people who care about you won't pity you, they will support you, they will understand you and lift you up during those times when you feel down.
At the end of the day everyone's reasons for infertility differ, but even so there is one common thread linking us all together: we all have trouble falling pregnant quickly!
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