Mean Comments:
Dealing with Peoples' Ignorance
When You Are Trying To Become Pregnant

Mean comments from other people can feel like they are hitting you left, right and center when you are trying to get pregnant without much luck! Really, people don't intend to be mean, but you may feel otherwise because suffering infertility can leave you feeling exposed, vulnerable and for some even depressed. Any little comment can really leave you on tender-hooks!
Sometimes even a flippant remark from a well-meaning family member or friend may even come across as mean. But fortunately, you have to remember that most things people say aren't usually intentionally spiteful.

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Those who say these sorts of mean comments aren't really saying it to be intentionally mean, ironically they probably think they are giving you great advice (!!). They might think they have the answers to make all your infertility just 'go away', since in their minds their 'advice' worked for them!

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Sadly though, they just aren't putting themselves into your shoes, and really, unless they have experienced what it is truly like to be infertile, perhaps they don't know any better?
I'm sure if someone could tell you real tips that would help you actually increase your odds of conceiving, you would be appreciative, but usually people seem to tell you silly things that won't help your infertility one bit!

For example: "Just stop trying and it will happen." Now is that really going to help you get pregnant?They can't understand your pain because for them, pregnancy happened 'at the drop of a hat' (another saying you might hear!)
They aren't living each day of each month that you get through the two-week wait with hope, excitement, and then sadness followed by disappointment...
Not being able to become pregnant really brings a whole new meaning to hating your periods, right!
You will learn a whole lot of patience through the infertility process!

 

Dealing with the
'Mean Comments'

The people who say these things haven't experienced what it is like to be infertile, they haven't lived the mental challenges you go through not knowing what your reasons for infertility are, so they are often completely unaware of the chord they may strike in you when they throw you a weighted comment full of 'advice' or loaded with 'helpful hints'. See, to them, their mean comments aren't mean at all... they are just telling you 'what worked for them' and probably feel like they have just imparted useful insightful information to you that will solve all your reasons for infertility!
I guess there is a little bit of ego in there for some too... wouldn't you be stoked and want to share with the world if you could get pregnant at the drop of a hat?
Still, peoples' reactions to infertility do nothing to boost your confidence, or make you feel better – in fact a lot of the time you will walk away feeling worse and maybe a bit hurt!
It may even spiral you into feeling inadequate.
See as much as people think they are helping, their tidbits of insight probably won't do anything to help your real reasons for infertility.
If the 'just relax and do it!' piece of advice was your answer, you know you would be well and truly pregnant by now!

So, what is the point of speaking to people about being infertile? Why would you subject yourself to potentially mean comments that may hurt you, you ask?